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There’s nothing fabulous or romantic—or even all that memorable—about the way that Nicole (Julianne Nicholson) and Stuart (Justin Kirk) meet. They meet in a café, on a blind date arranged by their shared dermatologist (who, incidentally, is never heard from again). Over the course of the evening, various people come and go. His eccentric brother, Jordan (Jamie Harrold), makes a business deal at the next table. Her best friend, Tess (Chelsea Altman), shows up with her latest boyfriend (whom neither her husband nor her fiancé know about). Nicole reveals that she was married before. Stuart explains that, basically, he gets paid to lie. And, at some point, they fall in love.
Flannel Pajamas tells the story of Nicole and Stuart’s relationship in an entirely random and disjointed manner, through snippets of conversation, naked romps, and bizarre situations (like the time he catches her peeing in the bathtub in her kitchen in the middle of the night). It doesn’t take long to figure out that he’s a controlling, self-centered jerk or that she’s needy and delusional—or that they’re both selfish and unforgiving. Their relationship isn’t pretty—but, unfortunately, it’s also not ugly enough to be interesting.
For the most part, Flannel Pajamas is a very long movie that feels like it’s never going to end—or begin, for that matter. Viewers watch as two flat, uninteresting characters go through parts of their mostly uninteresting lives. He decides they’re moving in together, so she packs her bags. He announces that they’re getting married in June, and she buys a dress. She gets fired and starts a catering company, and he writes the checks. She obsesses about having a baby. He treats her like a pet. And so it continues as their relationship—and the audience’s interest—slowly crumbles.
Though Flannel Pajamas does have a few interesting moments, they’re few and far between—and they’re far outnumbered by the dull and pointless moments. To make matters worse, the performances aren’t the least bit convincing. Even the stars seem to be bored as they plod along, often without showing the slightest bit of feeling.
I tend to have a pretty high tolerance for flawed movies. Amid the worst jokes, I’ll still find something to laugh about. When the story’s dull, I’ll find something else to enjoy—like the characters or the acting or the cinematography. But I’m afraid I couldn’t find anything to really enjoy about Flannel Pajamas—except the closing credits.
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