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For years, I’ve had this hunch…a nagging suspicion. I haven’t said anything about it, since I wasn’t really sure. But now, after seeing Seven Pounds, I think I can safely say that my hunch has officially been proven: Hollywood hates the holidays.
Every year, it seems like it’s the same thing. These Hollywood bigwigs see normal people out celebrating the season by giving gifts and throwing parties and drinking eggnog. Seeing that these average people appear to be far too full of holiday cheer, they decide to quash the spirit of Christmas—not by sledding into town and stealing decorations late at night but by releasing an endless series of movies that are guaranteed to make everyone in the audience weep. Thus, we get movies like last year’s The Bucket List and P. S. I Love You. Or 2006’s The Pursuit of Happyness. And, this year, Happyness director Gabriele Muccino and star Will Smith once again team up for another gut-wrenching holiday tear-jerker.
Seven Pounds is a bit of a mystery, really. And I don’t want to tell you too much about it—because I wouldn’t want to ruin the best part of the movie.
You see, the best part of the movie is the beginning—the first 20 minutes or so, when you don’t really know what’s going on. For those 20 minutes, Seven Pounds is a puzzle—with a whole bunch of random pieces that you’ve got to try to fit together. All you’ll know is that there’s a guy named Ben Thomas (Smith), an IRS agent who’s seriously troubled by something in his past. As he visits people who are facing an audit, he seems to be judging them—trying to figure out whether they’re good people who are truly worthy of his help.
For a while, Seven Pounds is as puzzling and mysterious as its main character. But once you figure out who Ben Thomas is—and what he’s up to—the rest of the movie is agonizing. It’s like watching a train wreck in slow motion: you know what’s coming, and you know it’s not going to be pretty, but there’s nothing you can do to stop it. And it’s devastating to watch it play out.
With some movies like this, it’s easy to get so caught up in the characters and their story that the rest doesn’t matter. Deep down, you’ll know that the filmmakers are shamelessly trying to jerk some tears, but you just don’t care. You just let go and follow along for the ride as the tears well up in your eyes. But that’s not the case with Seven Pounds. Once I knew what was going on, I was almost angry. I felt manipulated—as if I’d been lured into a trap.
Still, I tried to play along—and with someone like Will Smith in the lead, it’s not all that hard. Smith tackles the role with the usual skill and charm, playing Ben perfectly—with a feeling of forced confidence and an ever-present smile that never quite reaches his eyes. But despite another solid Will Smith performance, I just couldn’t escape that feeling of dread—or the frustration that I’d known every last depressing detail of the movie since about 20 minutes in.
As I watched Seven Pounds, I couldn’t help but ask, Why? Why would someone make a movie like this—one that’s designed to rip out the audience’s heart and stomp on it for an hour and a half? And why, especially, would you do it now, in a season that may be filled with parties and gifts and cookies but one that’s also filled with bills and holiday stress? We don’t need sad movies; we need silly, brainless movies. So why on Earth would you intentionally depress people even more? What’s wrong with you people?
Of course, for those of you who’ve noticed that you’re just way too happy this holiday season, by all means, see Seven Pounds. It’s the perfect cure for holiday cheer. Merry freakin’ Christmas.
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