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I had a strange adventure at the theater when I first saw Vincenzo Natali’s Splice. During the screening, we were hit by a storm—but as the thunder rumbled and the tornado sirens blared, I remained in my seat, determined to see it through to the end. Unfortunately, the power eventually cut out—and, with just a few minutes to go, the remaining diehards were sent home.
Back then, I doubted that those last few minutes would have made a difference—because nothing short of a miracle could have salvaged this sci-fi calamity. And now that I’ve seen the end, I can tell you that my initial suspicions were correct: there’s just no saving this one.
Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley star as Clive and Elsa, a pair of biochemists who have been working tirelessly to combine various kinds of animal DNA, in an attempt to find a protein that will cure illnesses in livestock. Once they finally succeed, however, they’re still not satisfied. They want to continue on to the next step: splicing human DNA to find cures for human diseases. Frustrated by their bosses’ insistence that they stick to animals, Clive and Elsa begin their own secret experiments.
Now, if you’ve seen the trailers, you might be under the impression that Splice is some kind of sci-fi thriller—the chilling story of a science experiment gone wrong. And you’d be right—but only for the first 10 minutes or so of the movie. As Clive and Elsa continue their experiments, the film’s eerie atmosphere will have you bracing yourself for something horrific. But, unfortunately, the suspense ends there.
Clive and Elsa eventually create Dren (which, incidentally, is “nerd” spelled backwards), a creature that grows at an alarming rate and exhibits some vicious attack mechanisms. Clive wants to kill it before it does any more harm (and before they get caught), but Elsa is more interested in adopting their new creature and treating it like her own daughter. It soon becomes all too clear, though, that Dren isn’t just another little girl.
As Dren grows from a wild, birdlike creature into a cute—and very smart—little girl (with bird legs…and a spiky poisonous tail), Splice turns into a kind of bizarre sci-fi remake of Problem Child. Dren gets into all kinds of trouble as she quickly grows from a stubborn creature-child into a rebellious creature-teen. It’s all more silly than it is suspenseful—and when the story eventually takes a predictably disturbing turn, it only makes things feel all the more ridiculous.
Though it poses some interesting questions about science and ethics, the rest of Splice is a confused mess. Just like Dren is a strange splicing of human and animal DNA, the film itself is a strange splicing of science-fiction, melodrama, and unintentional humor. I’m pretty sure it was supposed to be chilling and edgy, but, mostly, it’s just unsettlingly absurd. It’s a scientific—and cinematic—experiment gone horribly wrong.
Blu-ray Review:
The two-disc Blu-ray/DVD/digital combo release of Splice includes just one special feature—but it’s a doozy. A Director’s Playground: Vincenzo Natali on the Set of Splice offers viewers more than 30 minutes of behind-the-scenes footage, showing the making of several scenes. The selected scenes, however, seem to be chosen (and shown) at random—and there’s little or no explanation of what’s happening or why. At the same time, though, the few included interviews take the film and its director a bit too seriously, making Natali sound like nothing short of one of the great directors of all time.
Still, while the feature is rather long and not especially exciting, it does offer an interesting view of what really goes on behind the scenes of a film’s production (especially when, for example, it shows Brody and Polley goofing around in the background while Natali tries to coach one of the other actors).
If, for some reason, you do choose to watch Splice, it isn’t necessary to spend another 30 minutes of your time on the feature—unless, of course, you’re especially interested in behind-the-scenes footage. If so, you might want to take a few minutes to skim it.
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