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Fate has certainly smiled upon Mark Wahlberg. While most pop stars from the ‘90s now find themselves either working at the mall or doing the reality TV circuit, the hip-hop star / underwear model formerly known as Marky Mark somehow managed to make a smooth transition from music and modeling to acting (and producing, too). While he’s made a name for himself in tough-guy roles, though, 2010’s The Other Guys proved that he could actually be funny, too—landing him the starring role opposite a talking teddy bear in Seth MacFarlane’s raunchy comedy, Ted.
Once upon a time, a lonely little boy made a wish that his big, cuddly teddy bear would come to life, so they could be best friends forever. When his wish magically came true, he couldn’t believe his good luck. But now, 27 years later, his childhood wish is getting in the way of his grown-up life.
Four years ago, John (Wahlberg) met Lori (Mila Kunis), the girl of his dreams. She’s beautiful and hard-working and successful, while he’s barely getting by in a pointless job at a rental car desk. The problem is Ted (voiced by MacFarlane). The talking teddy bear doesn’t have a care in the world, so he spends his days smoking pot and watching Flash Gordon, compelling his best buddy to join him. For years, Lori has put up with Ted—and with John’s irresponsible behavior—but she finally decides that it’s time for John to choose.
Though most people might expect a movie about a talking teddy bear to be a cute, cuddly kids’ movie, there’s nothing cute or cuddly—or even remotely child-appropriate—about Ted. Family Guy creator MacFarlane’s feature debut is as crude and offensive as it could possibly be—complete with a walking, talking, pot-smoking, hooker-hiring teddy bear who speaks in a thick Boston accent. And, really, in the beginning, that’s what gives the film its strange appeal: it’s so bizarre that you can’t help but love it.
Unfortunately, though, the film’s initial appeal just isn’t enough. For a while, the novelty of the crass teddy bear makes Ted absolutely, shockingly hilarious. Eventually, though, the novelty wears off, the crude humor gets a little old, and the film starts to feel like it’s trying way too hard to be offensive.
The story, meanwhile, meanders in all kinds of random directions. Instead of simply focusing on the awkward triangle of relationships, MacFarlane also throws in a strange side plot involving a creepy fan (Giovanni Ribisi) who’s determined to buy Ted for his spoiled son (Aedin Mincks). And though it all comes together in the end, Ribisi’s side story does little more than add minutes to the runtime.
The highlight of the film, then, is Wahlberg. His performance as the lovable and totally well-meaning screw-up gives Ted an unexpected hint of heart. Deep down, he’s still the insecure little boy who just wants a best friend—and his childlike innocence (especially when combined with his irresponsible behavior and his working-class Boston style) ends up playing out in the most hilarious of ways.
Thanks to its fuzzy, foul-mouthed title character, Ted is certainly an unconventional comedy—and fans of outrageous, hard-R comedies are sure to get plenty of laughs out of Ted’s unapologetically crude antics. But the film’s initial shock value can carry it just so far—and, after a while, it’s just another silly movie about a guy and his troublemaking buddy.
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