April 4, 2025 
  Jupiter Ascending
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Sixteen years ago, sibling directors the Wachowskis stunned audiences with their sharp and stylish sci-fi thriller, The Matrix. Since then, they�ve struggled to find the same mix of smart storytelling and jaw-dropping effects�and now they offer up a gorgeous disaster with their outer-space adventure Jupiter Ascending.

Jupiter Ascending stars Mila Kunis as Jupiter Jones, a young woman who helps her extended family pay the bills by cleaning the toilets of Chicago�s most fabulous homes. But her monotonous existence takes an unexpected turn when she ends up in the middle of a battle between ruthless alien creatures that have been hired to kill her and a genetically engineered hunter (Channing Tatum�s Caine) who�s been hired to save her. After she escapes, Jupiter learns that she�s somehow heir to a mind-boggling intergalactic inheritance, putting her at the center of three greedy siblings� power struggle.

Really, though, it�s best not to think too hard about the story that plays out in this bizarre outer-space soap opera�because the longer you think about it, the more ridiculous it becomes. Of course, that doesn�t mean that it�s not already extremely ridiculous on the surface�because it is. It�s about as campy as they come, loaded with laughable one-liners and intergalactic technobabble that wouldn�t be any less understandable if it were spoken in a foreign language.

The directors seem to expect their audience simply to accept the story at face value, so they didn�t bother to make any of the explanations make any kind of sense whatsoever. And the more you think through it, the more you�ll notice the inconsistencies, the unnecessary subplots, and the sheer nonsense of it all.

Meanwhile, several members of the cast seem to be in a cutthroat competition to see who can be the most over-the-top. In the end, though, the trophy goes to Oscar frontrunner Eddie Redmayne, whose performance as one of the feuding siblings is so extreme that it�s sure to send waves of giggles through the audience every time he appears on-screen.

Fortunately, Jupiter Ascending isn�t a complete loss. It�s no big surprise that the latest adventure from this innovative directing duo is visually stunning. The otherworldly sets are spectacular; the effects are impressive, and Jupiter�s costumes could rival some of the most memorable red carpet looks. Sadly, Tatum doesn�t fare as well, with the makeup department�s inexplicably pointy ears and the costume department�s silly hoverboots working together make the star look perfectly peculiar. And even the most breathtaking eye-candy can�t make up for the film�s lazy writing and eye-rolling absurdity.

The Wachowskis definitely know how to produce a pretty movie, but they seem to have sacrificed everything else in the process. As a result, Jupiter Ascending is striking but nonsensical�a beautiful mess of painfully cheesy sci-fi action.


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