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BAUDETTE, MN Joshua O’Connor will admit that he’s not the brightest man alive. When someone says something rude or unkind to him, he can’t always come up with a response. In fact, it usually takes several weeks before he can think of a witty response.
But, really, who hasn’t been in this situation? Who hasn’t responded to an insult with, “Oh, yeah…?” or “I know you are, but what am I?” only to think of the perfect response days later, when it’s much too late to replay the situation?
But what distinguishes O’Connor from everyone else—those who just accept that they’ve been insulted and move on—is that he’s thinking ahead. He’s looking ahead to next time and planning accordingly. If someone tears him down, O’Connor writes down the perfect response—even if it doesn’t come to him for several weeks…or even months. That way, he can be prepared.
To date, O’Connor has documented over 450 witty comebacks, along with the corresponding derogatory statement. He’s stored them in a database that cross-references them in a number of ways, including categories for a variety of occasions, such as weddings, birthday parties, and family reunions. They’re all alphabetized by both comment and response.
O’Connor’s collection also includes a long list of witty one-liners and knee-slapping jokes for every occasion, including over 100 responses to the question “How are ya?”
“People used to think I wasn’t too bright,” says O’Connor, “but now they admire my wit and intelligence.”
For instance, when faced with a rude and sarcastic comment, such as, “Where did you get your driver’s license, a Cracker Jack box?” O’Connor can look up the comment under “D” for “driver’s license” or “C” for “Cracker Jack box.” The insult will then appear in either place. He can also look under “General Insults,” where he’ll learn that one of the best responses would be, “[Laugh] Yeah… Hey, who cuts your hair, Stevie Wonder?”
O’Connor says that he’s collected the long list thanks to his friends and family, who have helped him come up with most of the lines that appear in his collection. He currently carries the collection in his pocket, but he plans to release Volume One of his Book of Comebacks sometime this summer. He plans to make the iPhone app available shortly thereafter.
Kristin Dreyer Kramer has been writing in some form or another (usually when she was supposed to be doing something else) since the ripe old age of ten—when she, her cousin, and their two Cabbage Patch Dolls formed the Poo Authors’ Club. After a short career in advertising, Kristin got sick of always saying nice things about stuff that didn’t deserve it—so now she spends her days criticizing things, and she’s much happier for it.
Since creating NightsAndWeekends.com in February of 2002, Kristin has spent her life surrounded by piles and piles of books and movies—so many that her office has become a kind of entertainment obstacle course.
As if her writing and editing responsibilities for N&W.com weren’t enough to keep her out of trouble, Kristin also hosts a number of weekly radio shows: Reel Discovery, Shelf Discovery, and On the Marquee. She’s also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (CriticsChoice.com), the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA.org), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS.org), and the Women Film Critics Circle (WFCC.Wordpress.com).
Kristin lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband, Paul, and their daughter, Anna. She welcomes questions, comments, and fan mail at kdk@nightsandweekends.com.
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Kristin Dreyer Kramer has been writing in some form or another (usually when she was supposed to be doing something else) since the ripe old age of ten—when she, her cousin, and their two Cabbage Patch Dolls formed the Poo Authors’ Club. After a short career in advertising, Kristin got sick of always saying nice things about stuff that didn’t deserve it—so now she spends her days criticizing things, and she’s much happier for it.
Since creating NightsAndWeekends.com in February of 2002, Kristin has spent her life surrounded by piles and piles of books and movies—so many that her office has become a kind of entertainment obstacle course.
As if her writing and editing responsibilities for N&W.com weren’t enough to keep her out of trouble, Kristin also hosts a number of weekly radio shows: Reel Discovery, Shelf Discovery, and On the Marquee. She’s also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (CriticsChoice.com), the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA.org), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS.org), and the Women Film Critics Circle (WFCC.Wordpress.com).
Kristin lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband, Paul, and their daughter, Anna. She welcomes questions, comments, and fan mail at kdk@nightsandweekends.com.
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