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JAPAN, MS Sharon Dewey has publicly announced that she will never, ever, in a million years, go to see a scary movie again with her friend, Krista. In a moment of weakness on Friday night, Dewey agreed to see The Shoe Store Killings with Krista during their monthly Girls’ Night Out. She figured that one little scary movie couldn’t be all that bad. It took very little time, however, to render Dewey absolutely, utterly terrified. Her screams of horror echoed through the theater.
Even covering her eyes couldn’t help. The terror was permanently engrained in her memory. The screams of horror. The knife. The bodies. All that blood,
destroying all those perfectly good shoes in a variety of materials and colors.
Within minutes, the unthinkable happened. Dewey realized that something was missing. Something important. Something had left a hole within her very spirit. Dewey discovered that The Shoe Store Killings had totally scared the living daylights out of her.
“Aaaaaagggghhhhh!!!” she screamed.
But it was too late. They were gone. Dewey’s living daylights were absolutely nowhere to be found.
“I tried to stop it from happening, but I had never really experienced anything like this before,” Dewey sobbed. “And now they’re gone. I never realized how terrible it would feel. This emptiness…. It’s horrible.”
Since the incident on Friday, Dewey has consulted a number of professionals, none of whom have studied the living daylights deeply enough to understand the impact that losing them can have on the average human being. They are also unsure as to whether or not it is possible to recover the living daylights—or perhaps for them to heal or even grow back.
Anyone possessing any information about the living daylights—or the current whereabouts of Ms. Dewey’s living daylights—is strongly urged to contact that Japan Medical Center in Japan, MS.
Kristin Dreyer Kramer has been writing in some form or another (usually when she was supposed to be doing something else) since the ripe old age of ten—when she, her cousin, and their two Cabbage Patch Dolls formed the Poo Authors’ Club. After a short career in advertising, Kristin got sick of always saying nice things about stuff that didn’t deserve it—so now she spends her days criticizing things, and she’s much happier for it.
Since creating NightsAndWeekends.com in February of 2002, Kristin has spent her life surrounded by piles and piles of books and movies—so many that her office has become a kind of entertainment obstacle course.
As if her writing and editing responsibilities for N&W.com weren’t enough to keep her out of trouble, Kristin also hosts a number of weekly radio shows: Reel Discovery, Shelf Discovery, and On the Marquee. She’s also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (CriticsChoice.com), the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA.org), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS.org), and the Women Film Critics Circle (WFCC.Wordpress.com).
Kristin lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband, Paul, and their daughter, Anna. She welcomes questions, comments, and fan mail at kdk@nightsandweekends.com.
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Kristin Dreyer Kramer has been writing in some form or another (usually when she was supposed to be doing something else) since the ripe old age of ten—when she, her cousin, and their two Cabbage Patch Dolls formed the Poo Authors’ Club. After a short career in advertising, Kristin got sick of always saying nice things about stuff that didn’t deserve it—so now she spends her days criticizing things, and she’s much happier for it.
Since creating NightsAndWeekends.com in February of 2002, Kristin has spent her life surrounded by piles and piles of books and movies—so many that her office has become a kind of entertainment obstacle course.
As if her writing and editing responsibilities for N&W.com weren’t enough to keep her out of trouble, Kristin also hosts a number of weekly radio shows: Reel Discovery, Shelf Discovery, and On the Marquee. She’s also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (CriticsChoice.com), the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA.org), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS.org), and the Women Film Critics Circle (WFCC.Wordpress.com).
Kristin lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband, Paul, and their daughter, Anna. She welcomes questions, comments, and fan mail at kdk@nightsandweekends.com.
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