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GLASGOW, DE Yesterday’s commute from work was an agonizing one for Roger Milford—and for all of the other motorists around him.
Milford’s indecisive driving nearly caused six accidents, three heart attacks, and four homicides—in a mere seven-mile stretch of highway. Poor Mr. Milford couldn’t help it, though, because he was tormented by supreme indecision.
Immediately upon entering the expressway on his way home from his office at Argotek Industries in Glasgow at 5:15 last night, Milford realized that he had no idea which lane to be in.
He started in the right lane, but he just didn’t feel right there. So he moved over to the left lane. While in the left lane, he drove 10 mph under the speed limit, sending several drivers screeching to a halt.
And while the left lane felt more comfortable than the right lane, he still felt as though something just wasn’t quite right. Unfortunately, he had no other lanes to choose from.
That was when Milford got the ingenious idea to drive down the center of the expressway. That felt much better. He felt so free—as though he had more than enough room to breathe. Then the drivers around him started on their horns. He even thought he saw an old woman pull out a rifle. But that could have just been her cane. So he figured—for his own safety—that it might be a good idea to try another lane again.
So he went back to the left lane. He thought that maybe he’d feel more comfortable if he slowed down a bit—to somewhere around 20 mph below the speed limit. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem to work. He just didn’t feel comfortable there. So he moved back over to the right lane. And he sped up until he was passing everyone.
Fortunately, it was finally time for Milford to exit the expressway. He was then free to escape the fast-paced world of high traffic and enter the laid-back world of two-lane roads with 35 mph speed limits. He drove 25 mph, and he felt much better—that is, until the truck driver following him decided that he owed it to the rest of the drivers who were following impatiently behind him to push Milford until he was traveling at about 50.
Then, with the pressure taken off him, Milford was finally happy. He was free from the pressure of driving.
Kristin Dreyer Kramer has been writing in some form or another (usually when she was supposed to be doing something else) since the ripe old age of ten—when she, her cousin, and their two Cabbage Patch Dolls formed the Poo Authors’ Club. After a short career in advertising, Kristin got sick of always saying nice things about stuff that didn’t deserve it—so now she spends her days criticizing things, and she’s much happier for it.
Since creating NightsAndWeekends.com in February of 2002, Kristin has spent her life surrounded by piles and piles of books and movies—so many that her office has become a kind of entertainment obstacle course.
As if her writing and editing responsibilities for N&W.com weren’t enough to keep her out of trouble, Kristin also hosts a number of weekly radio shows: Reel Discovery, Shelf Discovery, and On the Marquee. She’s also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (CriticsChoice.com), the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA.org), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS.org), and the Women Film Critics Circle (WFCC.Wordpress.com).
Kristin lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband, Paul, and their daughter, Anna. She welcomes questions, comments, and fan mail at kdk@nightsandweekends.com.
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Kristin Dreyer Kramer has been writing in some form or another (usually when she was supposed to be doing something else) since the ripe old age of ten—when she, her cousin, and their two Cabbage Patch Dolls formed the Poo Authors’ Club. After a short career in advertising, Kristin got sick of always saying nice things about stuff that didn’t deserve it—so now she spends her days criticizing things, and she’s much happier for it.
Since creating NightsAndWeekends.com in February of 2002, Kristin has spent her life surrounded by piles and piles of books and movies—so many that her office has become a kind of entertainment obstacle course.
As if her writing and editing responsibilities for N&W.com weren’t enough to keep her out of trouble, Kristin also hosts a number of weekly radio shows: Reel Discovery, Shelf Discovery, and On the Marquee. She’s also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (CriticsChoice.com), the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA.org), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS.org), and the Women Film Critics Circle (WFCC.Wordpress.com).
Kristin lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband, Paul, and their daughter, Anna. She welcomes questions, comments, and fan mail at kdk@nightsandweekends.com.
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