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This edition of Stolen from the Headlines features a man who called 911 when he couldn’t get his cell phone to work, a woman who fired off 18 shots during a dispute with her boyfriend, a Russian group that filed a lawsuit demanding that the U. S. give Alaska back yesterday, and the news that though there are over 500,000 Internet-connected devices in America some of your family members don’t own a darned one of them.
His Cheating Heart
Originally reported by United Press International
Police said a woman barricaded herself at the Sun & Surf Motel, squeezed off 18 shots and said she was going to kill herself because she was upset about her unfaithful boyfriend.
Daytona Beach police said officers were called to the Sun & Surf Motel Wednesday where Heather Beaver, 21, was holed up with a firearm after an argument with her boyfriend of three years, Craig Garris, about his cheating.
Beaver fired her weapon 18 times during the standoff—no one was injured by the bullets.
Beaver was taken to Halifax Health Medical Center for evaluation.
She was charged with four counts of attempted first-degree murder.
“Upset about her unfaithful boyfriend?” Only if you consider trying to kill someone four times being upset.
He Had to Call Somebody
Originally reported by United Press International
Florida police said they arrested a man who got drunk and called 911 to complain that his phone wasn’t working and his drug dealer was mad at him.
The Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office said Gary Alan Pockrandt, 51, called 911 three times in the early hours Wednesday from his St. Petersburg home, the Tampa Bay (Fla.) Times reported Thursday.
Pockrandt was arrested after his third call when he lamented that his drug dealer was mad at him.
Pockrandt smashed his phone on the ground before being arrested.
“This was a new phone,” the arrest report states. “So it is believed it only dials 911 until it is activated which [Pockrandt] could not do in his intoxicated state of being.”
Those darn cell phones ought to come activated so a man can concentrate on important stuff like making up with his weed guy.
They Can See Gay Marriage from their Front Door
Originally reported by United Press International
The 1867 sale of Alaska is in the news again, as a fundamentalist Russian Orthodox group has filed a lawsuit claiming President Obama’s support of gay marriage renders the sale “null and void.”
The Pchyolki–a group that counsels its members to use violence if necessary to protect churches from “blasphemers” like the all-girl band Pussy Riot–filed the suit in January, RIA Novosti reported Saturday.
The suit became public this week when the group missed a deadline for correcting the paperwork.
In court papers, the Pchyolki said the purchase of Alaska was not legal because the contract called for payment in gold coins and the United States wrote a check for $7.2 million.
At least the check cleared.
Still It’s Only 1.58 Devices Per Person
Originally reported by United Press International
The U.S. has more than 500 million Internet connected devices, thanks mostly to higher smart phone and tablet ownership, a research firm says.
The NPD Group says the Internet-connected devices include smartphones, tablets, laptops, PCs, video-game consoles, HDTVs, Blu-Ray players and other shiny toys.
Its analysis shows that in the last 3 months more than 9 million people moved up from regular cell phones to smartphones and 18 million more consumers have purchased a tablet device, Slash Gear reported Tuesday.
However, the PC still remains the most commonly used Internet-connected device in households, with over 93 percent of households reporting at least one PC.
Of the 93 percent of households reporting at least one PC, 92 percent get the same message every day: Internet Explorer Cannot Display This Page, Stupid.
