Teachers have a tough job. Five days a week, they’re responsible for the education, safety, and sometimes even the emotional well-being of a class full of kids. And no one knows how difficult the job can be better than the band of tormented teachers in the outrageous zombie thriller Cooties.
Cooties reports for summer school at a suburban elementary school where, on the first day of classes, a mysterious virus spreads through the student body, turning a bunch of unruly kids into a band of bloodthirsty monsters. As the children go on a rampage around the school, eating everyone who tries to stand in their way, the remaining teachers—led by Elijah Wood’s aspiring novelist Clint and Rainn Wilson’s gym teacher Wade—are forced to stop bickering long enough to fight for their lives.
Written by the guys responsible for Insidious, Saw, and Glee, Cooties is hilariously horrifying—a comic thriller that’s every bit as disturbing and demented as it is outlandish and fun.
It all revolves around a bunch of misfit teachers. Sure, this school probably has a few stable, responsible teachers on the payroll, but they’re most likely the ones who tried to help the infected students, leading to their early demise. What’s left, then, are generally the oddballs—the clueless, the quirky, and, occasionally, the clichéd. Clint may seem arrogant and condescending to his new coworkers—the big-city novelist who’s slumming it as a teacher—but he’s made likable by the fact that he’s really just a struggling writer who’s living with his mom. His new nemesis, Wade, meanwhile, is the school’s alpha-male: the stereotypical tough-guy gym teacher. And while they’re forced to work together to battle their zombified students for survival, they also end up battling each other for the attention of Alison Pill’s sweet, lovable Lucy.
But Cooties isn’t just about the comedy. The premise may give the film some great comic opportunities, but it’s consistently scary, too. Before the virus, the students may not seem especially ambitious—but, as zombies, they’re ruthless, hunting the teachers down in any way possible. And when they attack, the results are gory and disgusting. Though the story may not come to the most satisfying conclusion, the whole ridiculous adventure is about as outrageously disturbing as a haunted funhouse.
With its entertaining mix of eccentric characters, clever writing, and severed limbs, Cooties is a fun-filled, action-packed horror-comedy. If you love movies like Zombieland and Shaun of the Dead, be sure to check it out.
Ed. Note: Cooties is currently showing in select theaters. It’s also available for viewing on demand.
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