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As a starving artist, I’m always looking for ways to make a little money on the side to further support my habit. This morning, while I was checking my email, the solution finally came to me. I need to get a web cam.
Every day, I get emails from women just like me who are making good money with their very own web cams. (Okay, so I’ll admit that they’re not exactly like me, but they are women, so that’s a start.) And, if my deductions are correct, people actually pay to see what women do all day. If that’s true, I’m an unexplored gold mine! I’ve got to get right out to the store to buy myself a web cam!
First, I’ll need to write a professional email message that will convince people to visit my site -– and I’ll send it to every single inbox in the known universe. It’ll say something like “Pssst! My husband’s not home! Watch what I do when I’m all alone!” Or maybe it’ll say, “See what I do with my pen all day long!”
Once the email recipients read the message, they’ll realize that I’m a freelance writer, and they’ll be so excited to see what I do all day long that they’ll click over to my site. And, depending on the time of day, they’ll get to see all kinds of exciting things.
Me: Barely Alive
Still in my pajamas (nothing fancy – just a T-shirt and plaid jammie-pants), with a serious case of bed-head. This is when visitors can watch me drink cup after cup of tea. They’ll also get to see me staring blankly at my computer while I check my email.
Me: Just Out of the Shower
Now I’m wearing a sweater and jeans, and my hair is dripping. It’s a very attractive look for me –- drowned rat. This is when visitors will watch me as I do my best work with my pen –- scribbling in my sketchbook. (After all, when I’m in the shower, I have lots of time to think.) Visitors can also watch me eat a late breakfast (a bowl of AlphaBits -– good for the writer’s soul) while I surf the Internet and try to dry my hair using the space heater on my desk.
Me: Finally Awake
Afternoon is, by far, the most exciting part of the web cam day –- because I usually wake up sometime in the afternoon. That’s when I can be found frantically typing articles, submitting work, and emailing editors. (Visitors who are especially lucky may even catch some pen action!) This is also when I switch from tea to soda.
Depending on the day, visitors may also get to watch as I do the Dance of Joy in response to acceptance letters -– or as I pound my head against my desk in response to rejections.
Empty Chair
This is when I give up and just go out for coffee. After all, being in the limelight all day can get to be so monotonous for a web cam star like me. With all the money I’m pulling in, maybe I’ll even splurge on one of those frou-frou coffee drinks instead of the cheap, black stuff.
I realize, however, that I’ll have to be careful to disguise myself (perhaps by putting on makeup and doing my hair) before I go out into public from now on –- I don’t want crazed fans to recognize me and cause a scene!
