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Dear Christine,
After my divorce from a
24-year marriage, I have recently re-entered the dating scene. I’ve had a few dates;
still I’m not sure how often is appropriate to call a woman.
What is the
current etiquette for this sort of thing? — TOM – KITCHENER,
ON
Dear Tom,
I looked around for dating phone
etiquette and found mixed messages that seemed to lead toward game-playing. So rather
than pass on the confusion, I’ll simply give you my opinion.
Calling a
woman shows your interest in her. The frequency of your calls should reflect the type of
relationship you’re looking for. Calling often will send a message that the relationship
is serious. If you’re looking for something casual, you shouldn’t call five times a week.
Don’t play games or send mixed messages.
Always call when
you say you will, if only to say “I can’t talk long. May I call you after work this
evening?” Nothing infuriates more than waiting for a phone call that never comes,
especially after being told to expect a call. This rule applies to all women—from the
woman you’re dating to your mother.
Most people have caller ID and
answering machines these days, so be sure to leave a brief, polite message. Beware:
Calling again and again after you’ve left a message will make you look incredibly clingy
and needy.
Also, a gentleman always calls a lady the day after a date to
tell her he had a nice time. This is the perfect opportunity to ask her out again. Even
if you don’t want to go out with her again right away, you can simply thank her for an
enjoyable evening.
To take pressure off yourself, give her your number and
availability and invite her to call you. This can work from the onset of a relationship.
When first meeting a potential date, it’s quite common for a man to give a woman his
number and let her make the call.
Dear
Christine,
I wish to thank you for your column and hope it continues
for as long as possible. I enjoy your point of view and the advice you
give.
Recently, I took a chance with an old friend. We had a good time
talking about the past and present. Still, I keep running into a wall with her parents,
who want someone who can offer more. Since her mother fell for someone lower in wealth,
they want more for her. I can understand their point. I’ve worked hard on improving my
own situation. I live and work on my own farm, near them.
As friends of
over 20 years, we went to the same schools and the same church, and we share the same
views most of time. She works in another province and plans to stay there. I took one
more chance to ask her if we could be more than friends and was turned down
again.
I realize there are other women out there.
I hope to
remain friends with her and move on to find someone else to share my dreams
with.
Thank you for your column and best wishes for the future. — RICK –
CLINTON, ON
Dear Rick,
Thank you. I’m glad you
enjoy reading my column.
It looks as though you’ve given yourself some
solid advice, as well. No point pining over her. There are plenty of fish in the
sea.
Get yourself out there and find a woman who’s looking for a man
instead of a wallet. I hope your next love interest can think for herself, rather than
obeying mommy dearest.
Have a question, a thought, or a story to share
(anonymity guaranteed)? E-mail Christine at: single@keynotebooks.com
