Dear
Christine,
I have the biggest problem. I’m in love.
I’m
21, and he’s 22. We’ve known each other for five years. After four years of friendship, I
finally let him in and fell madly in love. I know he’s the one.
Anyway,
about two months ago he ended it, not really giving an explanation for his actions. We
are now working on a friendship, which is killing me inside because I love him. I will
never love anyone else. It’s sad, but I haven’t told him because I know he doesn’t want
a relationship with anyone. He said not until he’s 30.
The saddest thing
is I’ll wait around for him because I can never stop loving him.
I hate
this. What’s a girl to do when she isn’t loved back? — KATHERINE – WATERLOO,
ON
Dear Katherine,
With your heart breaking
the way it is, you may find it hard to believe, but you’ll get over him. And you will
love again.
This probably won’t make you feel any better. But if it
is indeed true that misery loves company, please know you’re not alone in the way you’re
feeling. The number of young adults who have been crushed by a breakup far out-weighs the
number who have not.
It’s hard to say if he’s simply not interested in
you anymore, if he’s not ready for a relationship with anyone, or if he’s keeping you as
a “friend” in case he needs a backup plan or the occasional booty call. None of the
options are appealing.
To say he’ll wait for a definitive age to have a
serious relationship is as unrealistic as it is to say you’ll wait until such date for
him to be ready.
You clearly don’t want a strictly platonic
relationship with him, so be careful not to get caught up in a toxic relationship in
which you’re pining over him and he includes you in his life only when he has nothing
better to do.
Eight years is a long time to wait. Rather than forcing
yourself into an unhealthy holding pattern, get out there and enjoy
life.
Have a question, a thought, or a story to share (anonymity
guaranteed)? Email Christine at: single@keynotebooks.com.