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Dear Christine,
I
had an affair and left my wife for another woman. It didn’t
last.
Surprisingly, not only did my wife not hire a hit man, but we
actually became friends. We both continued seeing other people and grew even closer,
sharing our ups and downs and cheering each other up when our other relationships became
problematic.
Three months ago, she met a younger man and seems to be
falling for him.
I’m such an idiot. It’s taken this to get me to realize I
want her back. I love her. I don’t think I ever stopped loving her.
Is it
too late for us? Can I win her back? — FULL OF REGRET – TORONTO,
ONTARIO
Dear Regretful,
Are you sure it’s regret
that you’re full of?
Before you screw up her life any further, be sure
this isn’t a case of “I don’t want her, but I don’t want anyone else to have her.” If
you’re certain this isn’t a knee-jerk reaction to the young stud who’s warming your side
of the bed, you have your work cut out for you. Trust is earned, not given.
Since your friendship is stronger than ever, with time and hard work you
may have a chance to get her back. Talk to her and see if she’ll consider taking you
back. Assure her that you’ll stop seeing other women immediately. Then follow through. If
she’s not willing to give up Junior right away, tell her you’ll wait. Then follow
through.
It sounds like you’ve done enough bed-hopping since your marital
breakup. Therefore, it won’t kill you to go without for as long as it takes to prove
you’re in it for the long haul this time.
Dear
Christine,
I have a crush on a woman with whom I work. Owing to the
way we joke and flirt, I think she’s interested, too. We’ve had some great times over
drinks after work with other co-workers. I’m dying to ask her out on a one-on-on date,
but I’m concerned about all the sexual harassment laws.
I really think she
and I could be great together. Is it worth the risk? — CO-WORKER WITH A CRUSH –
INGLEWOOD, ONTARIO
Dear Co-worker,
Being in the
same business gives you something in common, which is great. However, if you date her,
you’re risking the sanctity of your workplace.
Even the smallest spat can
cause everything from discomfort to your employer noticing the tension. And a bad breakup
could leave you living in a 40-hour-a-week nightmare. If you decide to ask her out, send
out some signals to make sure she’s crushing back.
As for your fear of
lawsuits, it’s not against the law to ask a co-worker out—as long as you don’t accompany
the invitation with “if you don’t, I’ll get you fired.”
Have a
question, a thought, or a story to share (anonymity guaranteed)? E-mail Christine at:
single@keynotebooks.com
