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MIAMI, FL Yesterday afternoon, Sean Stanley, the new intern at the Randall, James, Fields, and Howe law offices, took a bit more initiative than the rest of the office felt was necessary. At 3:12 pm, after returning from his biology lab, Sean sent out an office-wide email explaining the new office management system that he had developed. The system requires every member of the 32-person office to check in with him each morning. This check-in must take place between 7 and 8:15 am—because at 8:15 he has to leave for his pottery class. Each daily check-in will involve a fully detailed report of the previous day’s accomplishments as well as that day’s schedule. Every Monday, each staff member will receive a detailed spreadsheet, which will include his or her weekly assignments.
Within the next two weeks, the email said, Stanley will be instituting a point system for daily tasks. There will be several point scales—one for partners, one for secretaries, one for paralegals, and a few miscellaneous scales. No one is quite sure what these points are good for; although Stanley expects to post them in the kitchen to motivate all employees to do their best—and to publicly humiliate those who don’t measure up.
“This isn’t what I meant when I told Sean to ‘clean up the office.’ I meant for him to go and get the carpet sweeper out of the supply closet. I wasn’t really expecting him to force me to report to him. This is Randall’s fault. He hired the kid,” said Senior Partner Fred James.
Despite Stanley’s energy and enthusiasm, fellow employees are not amused. For some reason, they have not been motivated by Stanley’s excitement about “creating a new, effective RJF&H.” They don’t believe that his “well-thought-out plan” will make the office “a better, more efficient place to work.” And, most of all, none of them are inspired to impress Stanley in order to receive the monthly batch of chocolate chip cookies for the “Employee of the Month.”
Plans are in the works for the paralegals to ambush Stanley in the parking garage and “beat him senseless.” The partners are pooling funds to pay for a “business trip” to any war-ravaged third-world country. The secretaries won’t reveal their plan, but an anonymous spokesperson said it’s “not very nice.”
Kristin Dreyer Kramer has been writing in some form or another (usually when she was supposed to be doing something else) since the ripe old age of ten—when she, her cousin, and their two Cabbage Patch Dolls formed the Poo Authors’ Club. After a short career in advertising, Kristin got sick of always saying nice things about stuff that didn’t deserve it—so now she spends her days criticizing things, and she’s much happier for it.
Since creating NightsAndWeekends.com in February of 2002, Kristin has spent her life surrounded by piles and piles of books and movies—so many that her office has become a kind of entertainment obstacle course.
As if her writing and editing responsibilities for N&W.com weren’t enough to keep her out of trouble, Kristin also hosts a number of weekly radio shows: Reel Discovery, Shelf Discovery, and On the Marquee. She’s also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (CriticsChoice.com), the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA.org), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS.org), and the Women Film Critics Circle (WFCC.Wordpress.com).
Kristin lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband, Paul, and their daughter, Anna. She welcomes questions, comments, and fan mail at kdk@nightsandweekends.com.
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Kristin Dreyer Kramer has been writing in some form or another (usually when she was supposed to be doing something else) since the ripe old age of ten—when she, her cousin, and their two Cabbage Patch Dolls formed the Poo Authors’ Club. After a short career in advertising, Kristin got sick of always saying nice things about stuff that didn’t deserve it—so now she spends her days criticizing things, and she’s much happier for it.
Since creating NightsAndWeekends.com in February of 2002, Kristin has spent her life surrounded by piles and piles of books and movies—so many that her office has become a kind of entertainment obstacle course.
As if her writing and editing responsibilities for N&W.com weren’t enough to keep her out of trouble, Kristin also hosts a number of weekly radio shows: Reel Discovery, Shelf Discovery, and On the Marquee. She’s also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (CriticsChoice.com), the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA.org), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS.org), and the Women Film Critics Circle (WFCC.Wordpress.com).
Kristin lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband, Paul, and their daughter, Anna. She welcomes questions, comments, and fan mail at kdk@nightsandweekends.com.
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