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We regret to inform you that this weekend has officially been cancelled. So forget about weekend plans. Forget about the extra sleep. Forget about going to the movies. Forget about hanging out with your friends. Cancelled. This weekend isn’t gonna happen.
We repeat: Saturday and Sunday will not take place this week. Please note that next Monday will begin directly after this Friday.
Government officials made this decision yesterday, after scientists throughout the world looked up from their coffee and donuts long enough to discover that their calculations were just a little bit incorrect.
Due to these miscalculations that have involved all kinds of stuff that you’re not likely to understand anyway—like sun positioning and Earth’s rotation and other very scientific things—scientists now realize that we have to make up for the extra two days that have appeared on this year’s calendar.
Apparently, an actual lunar year is not really 364.25 days. It’s really 364.27 days. Somehow, the extra minutes popped in there and have been screwing things up all along. Astronomers have reportedly been fudging numbers and calendars and stuff all this time.
Recently, they figured that now was as good a time as any to fess up and fix all of the number-fudging. And—in order to get things back on the right track and return to the correct solar, lunar, and astronomical day and time—we’re just going to have to obliterate two days.
Thus, the government—in conjunction with every other government throughout the world—has decided that no one really needs this Saturday and Sunday anyway. So we’re just not going to have them.
So remember: Saturday isn’t Saturday this week. It’s next Monday. Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause.
Kristin Dreyer Kramer has been writing in some form or another (usually when she was supposed to be doing something else) since the ripe old age of ten—when she, her cousin, and their two Cabbage Patch Dolls formed the Poo Authors’ Club. After a short career in advertising, Kristin got sick of always saying nice things about stuff that didn’t deserve it—so now she spends her days criticizing things, and she’s much happier for it.
Since creating NightsAndWeekends.com in February of 2002, Kristin has spent her life surrounded by piles and piles of books and movies—so many that her office has become a kind of entertainment obstacle course.
As if her writing and editing responsibilities for N&W.com weren’t enough to keep her out of trouble, Kristin also hosts a number of weekly radio shows: Reel Discovery, Shelf Discovery, and On the Marquee. She’s also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (CriticsChoice.com), the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA.org), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS.org), and the Women Film Critics Circle (WFCC.Wordpress.com).
Kristin lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband, Paul, and their daughter, Anna. She welcomes questions, comments, and fan mail at kdk@nightsandweekends.com.
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Kristin Dreyer Kramer has been writing in some form or another (usually when she was supposed to be doing something else) since the ripe old age of ten—when she, her cousin, and their two Cabbage Patch Dolls formed the Poo Authors’ Club. After a short career in advertising, Kristin got sick of always saying nice things about stuff that didn’t deserve it—so now she spends her days criticizing things, and she’s much happier for it.
Since creating NightsAndWeekends.com in February of 2002, Kristin has spent her life surrounded by piles and piles of books and movies—so many that her office has become a kind of entertainment obstacle course.
As if her writing and editing responsibilities for N&W.com weren’t enough to keep her out of trouble, Kristin also hosts a number of weekly radio shows: Reel Discovery, Shelf Discovery, and On the Marquee. She’s also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (CriticsChoice.com), the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA.org), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS.org), and the Women Film Critics Circle (WFCC.Wordpress.com).
Kristin lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband, Paul, and their daughter, Anna. She welcomes questions, comments, and fan mail at kdk@nightsandweekends.com.
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