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NORTH POLE After doing the same old thing for as long as anyone can remember, Santa Claus has been forced to change his ways.
Last year, on Christmas Day, during Santa’s annual Christmas party for the elves and reindeer, the reindeer announced that they had made their final Christmas Eve worldwide toy delivery flight. Every last one of them had decided to retire.
Santa was stunned. He never saw it coming. After all, they’d been a team forever. Santa barely remembered what it was like working without the reindeer. And they’d all worked out their system until they had finally made it to the point where Christmas Eve worked like clockwork.
But, try as he did, Santa couldn’t convince them to stay a few more years.
Said spokesdeer Comet, “Santa, we’re old, and we’re tired. And you’re not getting any thinner, you know. And toys are getting bigger and heavier. It’s much more complicated than the days when the sleigh was filled with nothing but dolls and trucks.” Comet then announced that the nine of them had purchased a nice ranch in Naples, Florida—where they now reside.
Santa finally gave up, realizing that there was no convincing them to stay. He immediately began searching for replacements, but no living creature was willing to work for as little pay (and for such an inferior benefits package—without as much as a 401k) as the reindeer had for all those years.
Realizing that he had nowhere else to turn, Santa took what money he had in the Claus, Inc. corporate account and headed to the nearest car dealership. After test driving a number of models, Santa found that the best vehicle for his business was the Dodge Caravan. It’s quite speedy, and there’s lots of cargo space.
Says Claus, “It’s not going to be the same without the deer, but I think the Caravan and I are perfectly capable of making this year’s run. And it’ll be much more comfortable than that sleigh.”
Kristin Dreyer Kramer has been writing in some form or another (usually when she was supposed to be doing something else) since the ripe old age of ten—when she, her cousin, and their two Cabbage Patch Dolls formed the Poo Authors’ Club. After a short career in advertising, Kristin got sick of always saying nice things about stuff that didn’t deserve it—so now she spends her days criticizing things, and she’s much happier for it.
Since creating NightsAndWeekends.com in February of 2002, Kristin has spent her life surrounded by piles and piles of books and movies—so many that her office has become a kind of entertainment obstacle course.
As if her writing and editing responsibilities for N&W.com weren’t enough to keep her out of trouble, Kristin also hosts a number of weekly radio shows: Reel Discovery, Shelf Discovery, and On the Marquee. She’s also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (CriticsChoice.com), the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA.org), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS.org), and the Women Film Critics Circle (WFCC.Wordpress.com).
Kristin lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband, Paul, and their daughter, Anna. She welcomes questions, comments, and fan mail at kdk@nightsandweekends.com.
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Kristin Dreyer Kramer has been writing in some form or another (usually when she was supposed to be doing something else) since the ripe old age of ten—when she, her cousin, and their two Cabbage Patch Dolls formed the Poo Authors’ Club. After a short career in advertising, Kristin got sick of always saying nice things about stuff that didn’t deserve it—so now she spends her days criticizing things, and she’s much happier for it.
Since creating NightsAndWeekends.com in February of 2002, Kristin has spent her life surrounded by piles and piles of books and movies—so many that her office has become a kind of entertainment obstacle course.
As if her writing and editing responsibilities for N&W.com weren’t enough to keep her out of trouble, Kristin also hosts a number of weekly radio shows: Reel Discovery, Shelf Discovery, and On the Marquee. She’s also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (CriticsChoice.com), the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA.org), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS.org), and the Women Film Critics Circle (WFCC.Wordpress.com).
Kristin lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband, Paul, and their daughter, Anna. She welcomes questions, comments, and fan mail at kdk@nightsandweekends.com.
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