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I don’t know how it happens; it just does. One minute I’m lounging on the couch, sipping on a tall glass of sweet ice tea, when all of a sudden, WHAMO! a crazy idea comes to mind, such as: If I took a shower after mowing the yard, maybe my armpits wouldn’t smell so bad.
These little crazy ideas usually plop on my shoulders like bird droppings, and there’s nothing I can do about it—like this one: Want nice smelling armpits? Don’t mow.
For example, the other day, while I was reading about the Apollo missions and how much astronaut stuff was left behind on the moon, the craziest idea of all time splattered right on my noggin: Want to get rid of a lot of moon junk and make a little profit? Sell it on Lunar eBay.
NASA wants to send man—which probably also includes woman—back to the moon. There’s a lot of space junk up there just lying around, gathering dust. When they get there, woman will mutter something about how man doesn’t know how to pick up after himself, and then she’ll tell man to clean it up (that’s her primary mission). They’ll then slap sale stickers on everything, upload digital pictures to Lunar eBay, Twitter about it for awhile, and then wait for the profits to pour in.
FOR SALE: Vintage Lunar Rover. Has 15.25 miles on the tires, electric engine is still good, but hasn’t been driven in awhile. Winning bidder is expected to pay for shipping, which comes to about 45 cents per mile (.45 X 238,857). What a steal! Good luck on your bidding. If you have any questions, I’m “AstroDude67” on Twitter.
“Beth, come here. You’ve got to see this.”
“What is it this time, Ricky?”
“Why do you always talk to me that way when I find a good deal on Lunar eBay?” Ricky asks. “I want to bid on one of those moon buggies. It may cost a couple of million, but the shipping’s only $107,500. So, what d’ya think?”
Believe me when I say, you don’t want to know Beth’s response.
By the time NASA closed down its Apollo program in 1972, six crews of astronauts had been to the moon, 12 men had actually walked on the lunar surface, and an estimated 300,000 pounds of man-made “debris” was left behind in order to bring home 800 pounds of rocks. Doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me, but, then again, I’m not a rocket scientist.
Wait a minute! Is it possible the folks at NASA were thinking ahead? That they left all that stuff up there on purpose, for the sole reason of selling it one day on Lunar eBay? Is it possible they knew?
“Buzz, this is Houston Mission Control. Can you hear me?”
“Affirmative, Houston.”
“Buzz, try not to hit those golf balls too far. We’ll need to find them in about 40 years. Selling just one of them at auction could pay for the entire Apollo program. Do you copy?”
“Roger, Houston. Slice it into a sandpit, make a few bucks. No problem.”
FOR SALE: Two vintage golf balls, hit by Astronaut Buzz Aldrin on the Par 3 Lunar Municipal Golf Course. Please review payment options. Credit cards or cash only. We do not accept Pay Pal. Good luck on your bidding. If you have any questions, contact “AstroDude67” on Twitter.
Yep! Those NASA guys are pretty smart!
Of course, there are some people who have “bad” crazy ideas, choosing to believe that man never made it to the moon. They believe the whole thing was a hoax orchestrated by NASA in order to win the Cold War. Yes, they do believe that man-made debris is scattered on the moon’s surface, but they think it’s there because NASA dropped it from a low-orbiting rocket to hoodwink the rest of us.
These naysayers did a lot of drugs in the ‘60s and ‘70s. They probably get “earth” and “urethra” mixed up.
I undoubtedly believe that man has walked on the moon and will do so once again. It’s our ability to recognize and take advantage of “crazy ideas” (the good kind) that will one day take us to Mars and beyond; it’s our crazy ideas that define us and make us who we are.
So the next time you catch me lounging on the couch when there’s yard work to be done, just remember—I’m contemplating a crazy idea that just might change the world in which we live. The snoring helps me to think.
