0
0
Pages: 38
Goes Well With: Hot chocolate and ambrosia
Fairy Fun by Anita Philmar has to be one of the strangest books I’ve ever read. Not only does the title sound more apt for a children’s book than an erotic short novel, but it involves some of the most bizarre fairy canon I’ve encountered.
Dedrick Forester is the 22-year-old fairy prince of the land of Endore. From what I can gather, the fairies in this story are of the tiny, Tinkerbell persuasion—complete with wings (although, this being erotica, not all of Dedrick is small, if you know what I mean—and I think you do).
According to Philmar’s particular take on fairies, once one reaches Dedrick’s age, he must either choose a mate and lose the ability to fly or remain unattached and continue flying. They also transform into wood gnomes. I’m not entirely sure why Philmar felt the need to add this twist (well, once I got to the sex scenes it became clear), since I think losing their ability to fly is metamorphosis enough for young fairies coming of age.
Anyway, Prince Dedrick is in the local bar, lamenting the difficult choice he has to make, when he’s propositioned by Chloe Rosewood. Unbeknownst to Dedrick, Chloe is a princess in her own right, who has run away from home (the land of Evermore) to escape a similar fate: either remain a fairy without a mate or choose a mate and become a wood gnome without the ability to fly. Chloe is an adventurous sort, and she recommends that they engage in some “air sex”—sort of the fairy equivalent of the mile-high club. The big question is: during their mid-flight rendezvous, will Chloe and Dedrick realize that a life of wood gnomedom isn’t so bad, as long as they’re together?
Although I’ve read a decent amount of fantasy literature involving fairies, I’m not entirely sure that there’s a set “canon” involving the diminutive sprites. That said, I simply couldn’t take Philmar’s version seriously. Why would fairies turn into wood gnomes when they fall in love? Why not just stay fairies? And what the heck is a wood gnome, anyway? It just didn’t make sense. As always, there are constraints when writing such a short book. The author doesn’t have the space really to flesh out the canon she creates—but, in cases like this, I’d suggest adding some length to the story, just to clear up questions within the plot.
Meanwhile, the sex scenes are…okay. But authors need to realize that there’s dirty talk, and then there’s vulgarity. As soon as I read the word “come” spelled with only three letters—and if the dreaded “c-word” is included—I’m instantly turned off. Philmar really needs to bone up (so to speak) on her sexy dialogue. I understand that this story is meant as pornography in literary form—there’s not much need for plot or good dialogue, as long as the deed gets done. But if you’re unable to pull that off well—and, unfortunately, Phimar is incapable—you’d probably be better off sticking with the Skinimax “soft core” variety of romance writing.
I may not read this book again, and I probably wouldn’t recommend it to any friends. But I do know one thing: I’ll never look at Tinkerbell and Peter Pan the same way again.
Ed. Note: For more on Fairy Fun, visit TheWildRosePress.com.
