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DUTCH NECK, NJ After hearing all of the terrifying stories about alien abduction—and about all of the terrible things that aliens do to their subjects—Carson Wagenmaker was surprised to discover that aliens really mean no harm to the human race.
And he should know. He learned first-hand.
About a month ago, Wagenmaker was abducted from his home in Dutch Neck. He was sitting quietly in his recliner, watching Wheel of Fortune, when he saw a bright green light suddenly appear out of nowhere. The beam seemed to come for him. To call to him. He got up and followed it, and the next thing he knew, he experienced a strange feeling of weightlessness. Then he slipped out of consciousness.
When Wagenmaker awoke, he was in a strange room. It was a large, empty room, with nothing decorating it but a large silver table and four chairs. At that time, a door opened, and in walked three men.
“They really didn’t look any different from us. Except they only have one ear. But, other than that, they look just like any other human being,” reports Wagenmaker.
Horrified, he waited for one of them to start poking and prodding him. Instead, one spoke.
“Do you know how to play Euchre?” asked one. Wagenmaker told them that he did, in fact, know how to play Euchre—that he was actually pretty good at it.
“Good,” replied the same little man. “Zorkon needs a partner.”
The men then pulled up a chair and motioned for him to sit. He obeyed. They brought out chips and pretzels and nuts and beer—and a deck of cards—and they all began to play.
After several rounds, Wagenmaker and his new friend won. He was then transported back to his home, where he awoke to find that Pat had just handed out another prize.
“See? Aliens are perfectly harmless. They just wanted to play cards. Then they brought me back, and it’s obvious that they did nothing to me. Of course, their transporting system could use some adjustment. It brought everything back but my ear.”
Kristin Dreyer Kramer has been writing in some form or another (usually when she was supposed to be doing something else) since the ripe old age of ten—when she, her cousin, and their two Cabbage Patch Dolls formed the Poo Authors’ Club. After a short career in advertising, Kristin got sick of always saying nice things about stuff that didn’t deserve it—so now she spends her days criticizing things, and she’s much happier for it.
Since creating NightsAndWeekends.com in February of 2002, Kristin has spent her life surrounded by piles and piles of books and movies—so many that her office has become a kind of entertainment obstacle course.
As if her writing and editing responsibilities for N&W.com weren’t enough to keep her out of trouble, Kristin also hosts a number of weekly radio shows: Reel Discovery, Shelf Discovery, and On the Marquee. She’s also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (CriticsChoice.com), the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA.org), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS.org), and the Women Film Critics Circle (WFCC.Wordpress.com).
Kristin lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband, Paul, and their daughter, Anna. She welcomes questions, comments, and fan mail at kdk@nightsandweekends.com.
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Kristin Dreyer Kramer has been writing in some form or another (usually when she was supposed to be doing something else) since the ripe old age of ten—when she, her cousin, and their two Cabbage Patch Dolls formed the Poo Authors’ Club. After a short career in advertising, Kristin got sick of always saying nice things about stuff that didn’t deserve it—so now she spends her days criticizing things, and she’s much happier for it.
Since creating NightsAndWeekends.com in February of 2002, Kristin has spent her life surrounded by piles and piles of books and movies—so many that her office has become a kind of entertainment obstacle course.
As if her writing and editing responsibilities for N&W.com weren’t enough to keep her out of trouble, Kristin also hosts a number of weekly radio shows: Reel Discovery, Shelf Discovery, and On the Marquee. She’s also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (CriticsChoice.com), the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA.org), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS.org), and the Women Film Critics Circle (WFCC.Wordpress.com).
Kristin lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband, Paul, and their daughter, Anna. She welcomes questions, comments, and fan mail at kdk@nightsandweekends.com.
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