Read Time:1 Minute, 45 Second
Why? That’s what I want to know. Why the heck does this movie exist? Why does it take up space in video stores and libraries? Why, oh why…?
I know what you’re wondering. Why, you’re wondering, would I even see this movie. I know — I’d wonder that, too, if I were you. But I had a reason. I know someone who was in the movie. Really. But I won’t mention that person’s name or role in the film — to protect the innocent.
The Next Karate Kid follows Mr. Miyagi (Pat Morita), a man who reminds me a little too much of Yoda, to Boston, where he finds that his friend is having some problems with her granddaughter, Julie (played by Hilary Swank), who has come to live with her since her parents died. (Hold on… was this originally an after-school special?) Miyagi decides to solve the problem by sending his friend back to California for a break while he, a strange Japanese man who they barely know, stays in Boston to take care of a high school girl. Julie gets herself into trouble by breaking into school to take care of an injured hawk that she’s secretly caring for — she gets caught by a band of militant high school boys, one of whom is under the impression that if he continues to get her into trouble, she’ll fall madly in love with him. After Julie gets suspended from school, Miyagi takes her to a Buddhist monastery, where he teaches her karate.
This movie started out as just plain painful — seriously so. The story was ridiculous, the dialogue was horribly cheesy, and the acting — well, let’s just say that Hilary Swank was lucky to get another role after this one. The only redeeming part of the movie was the crazy Buddhist monks and their knack for bowling.
In summary, let me just say this: unless you know someone in this movie and feel compelled to watch it, please, for the love of all that’s good and just in this world, steer clear.
Kristin Dreyer Kramer has been writing in some form or another (usually when she was supposed to be doing something else) since the ripe old age of ten—when she, her cousin, and their two Cabbage Patch Dolls formed the Poo Authors’ Club. After a short career in advertising, Kristin got sick of always saying nice things about stuff that didn’t deserve it—so now she spends her days criticizing things, and she’s much happier for it.
Since creating NightsAndWeekends.com in February of 2002, Kristin has spent her life surrounded by piles and piles of books and movies—so many that her office has become a kind of entertainment obstacle course.
As if her writing and editing responsibilities for N&W.com weren’t enough to keep her out of trouble, Kristin also hosts a number of weekly radio shows: Reel Discovery, Shelf Discovery, and On the Marquee. She’s also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (CriticsChoice.com), the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA.org), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS.org), and the Women Film Critics Circle (WFCC.Wordpress.com).
Kristin lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband, Paul, and their daughter, Anna. She welcomes questions, comments, and fan mail at kdk@nightsandweekends.com.
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Kristin Dreyer Kramer has been writing in some form or another (usually when she was supposed to be doing something else) since the ripe old age of ten—when she, her cousin, and their two Cabbage Patch Dolls formed the Poo Authors’ Club. After a short career in advertising, Kristin got sick of always saying nice things about stuff that didn’t deserve it—so now she spends her days criticizing things, and she’s much happier for it.
Since creating NightsAndWeekends.com in February of 2002, Kristin has spent her life surrounded by piles and piles of books and movies—so many that her office has become a kind of entertainment obstacle course.
As if her writing and editing responsibilities for N&W.com weren’t enough to keep her out of trouble, Kristin also hosts a number of weekly radio shows: Reel Discovery, Shelf Discovery, and On the Marquee. She’s also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (CriticsChoice.com), the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA.org), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS.org), and the Women Film Critics Circle (WFCC.Wordpress.com).
Kristin lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband, Paul, and their daughter, Anna. She welcomes questions, comments, and fan mail at kdk@nightsandweekends.com.
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