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Dearest Christine,
Last week’s column made me angry.
With the overweight woman, “Pretty Face,” you had the perfect opportunity to empower her and other women like her. Instead of telling her that being overweight is a disadvantage in the cruel world of dating, why not tell her to live in her weight and take power in it — and she can date whomever she wants? Confidence shines and people pick up on that. One thing men love is a confident woman.
Speaking as an overweight woman, I have no problems getting dated because I am confident in my skin.
Do you know how many people in this country are overweight? THE MAJORITY! And if you can’t find beauty in that, you are very shallow, Miss West. I feel sorry for the man who dates you.
Saying witty things is great as long as they help people. But your comments are hurtful. Learn some tact, dear. — AN EMPOWERED OVERWEIGHT WOMAN – UNDISCLOSED LOCATION
Dear Empowered,
Thank you for bringing up an interesting point — one that I was remiss in mentioning. You are absolutely right in saying that there are overweight people who are quite comfortable in their own skins. When I was addressing “Pretty Face’s” problem, perhaps I should have also addressed the people who don’t let society’s prejudices to limit them.
Allow me extend belated kudos to the content, empowered overweight people like you. Good for you. You are stronger and more enlightened than most.
To people like myself and “Pretty Face,” who are not comfortable in our larger bodies and want to lose weight for ourselves, I say: Stay confident, be healthy, and keep striving to be comfortable in your own body.
I think we should all stand by our convictions and not let superficial standards get us down. We must not forget that the weight of the soul also needs balance. So on the road to betterment, don’t let negative energy consume you.
Sorry you found my response lacking in tact — and that my witty comments seemed inappropriate to you. Perhaps I was a little cranky that my Lean Cuisine portion was so small that day. Or perhaps I’m just more comfortable in my sarcastic skin.
Dear Christine,
I’ve been single for a few years now, and I’m absolutely loving it. My last serious relationship lasted over six years. Ever since I broke up with her — a few years ago — I just don’t think women deserve to be a priority in my life.
As a healthy 34-year-old man, I flirt with women and date occasionally. But no one keeps my interest for more than a date or two.
I used to love being in a couple, but now it’s like I know deep down that I could never truly be happy with a woman. I envy people in happy relationships, but I need more from a relationship than just sex and companionship. I need a woman who is willing to give up as much as I am to be together. It doesn’t seem that women my age are willing to compromise. Although I’m still very much content being single, I am worried about how long I will continue to feel this way.
Am I going through a phase, or will I feel this way forever? Am I doomed to grow old alone?
Help, — LONE WOLF – BURLINGTON, ON
Dear Wolf,
Since the idea of growing old alone seems “dooming,” I think it’s safe to say you’re going through a phase.
There’s nothing wrong with you. Everyone goes through phases in life. It looks like you’re currently in a single phase. You’ve let go of your last relationship, making you a happy free agent who gets to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. I bet there are a lot of married people out there who would envy you. Like they say, the grass is always greener…
Enjoy the freedom. Follow your heart. Rest assured, there are plenty of women out there who are willing to compromise for a deserving man.
Have a question, a thought, or a story to share (anonymity guaranteed)? E-mail Christine at: single@keynotebooks.com
