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Spurting blood, mangled body parts, gratuitous sex, violence, drug use, and
even
more gratuitous puns pack every on-screen minute of the clash between ’80s slasher
giants, Freddy Kruger (Robert Englund) and Jason Voorhees (Ken Kirzinger). And that’s
actually a good thing!
Freddy Vs. Jason delivers a
blow-by-blow-slaughter-action extravaganza that combines virtually every scenario
postulated by junior high/high school horror fans in the last two decades, who
contemplated the “what if” battle royal of these two supernatural serial killers. Across
the country, many a late night slumber party slash-a-thon film fest has probably
degenerated into debating the outcome of this fiendish melee of the ages. For my friend
John and I, this conflict was chronicled in a battered spiral notebook that was
circulated among the most select group of sixth graders. Sample: “Jason cuts off
Freddy’s hand, but since they are in the dream world, it just grows back and Freddy
laughs.”
The screenplay is only a slight improvement on our versions, but
really that’s
the whole point: packing in as many of these fan scenarios as the
narrative can
endure (and then some).
The plot is surprisingly
creative when considering the source. Freddy, ever the egotist, finds himself impotent of
his dream stalking powers when Elm Street, The Next Generation forgets about him. To
remedy this, he resurrects Jason, the unstoppable mama’s boy killing machine, to
terrorize teens and return him to
his full power. The only problem with unstoppable
killing machines is…well, they
don’t stop. Therein lies the conflict.
Unfortunately, the creativity wears off around the fourth time the plot
is explained.
In the tradition of the slasher genre, the film maintains
its superficial stab at a morality piece/STD metaphor, hacking apart intoxicated,
over-sexed, horny
teens in need of punishment. It makes an equally superficial effort
to challenge the stigma misogynistic rape fantasy by making the second victim a
card
carrying chauvinist. Nonetheless, in the same vein as the Frankenstein
monster,
Dracula, and Wolf Man, this modern creature feature combat, is undiluted
puerile
entertainment.
