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Dear Christine,
I’m a very single
34-year-old male. Among the pros and cons of being single, the biggest disadvantage for
me is attending dances. It’s quite boring and depressing being a mere spectator, which is
why I rarely go to dances.
I’m good with my feet, but who would know since
I don’t have anyone I can take to a dance?
I’ve been to singles dances,
but those were a flop because everyone was twice as old as I was and had a partner. At
family weddings, to avoid embarrassment, I limit my dances with family members to fast
songs. The depressing part at company Christmas parties and weddings is the slow songs,
where everyone is partnered. That’s usually my cue to go home. I’m not a party pooper. In
fact, I love to dance, but it’s difficult when you don’t have someone to dance with.
Please comment. — SCOTT – SIMCOE, ON
Dear
Scott,
It could be worse. There are many people out there who are
coupled with partners who don’t or won’t dance. You, on the other hand, are single with
an unlimited dance card just waiting to be filled.
If it is dancing you
want, then dance.
The streets are littered with dance clubs just full of
single women who are not afraid to ask a man to dance. Or perhaps you could take dance
lessons. After some research, I am assured that many singles go to dance studios alone,
eager to be partnered and ready to boogie.
Who knows, you may find a date
for the next family wedding or Christmas party.
Dear
Christine,
I am a single woman in my mid-60s, and I do not want to
enter into a relationship with another man.
I have no family in town
other than my daughter. She now claims to be in a fairytale romance and is planning to
move eight hours away to live with her boyfriend. How can I explain that she’s only
setting herself up for a fall?
You’d think she’d know better. She knows
her father was certainly not a prince by any stretch of the word. And I’ve warned her of
rose-coloured glasses in trying to spare her the pain I’ve suffered with the frogs in my
life.
I always helped her when she was in trouble and freely gave my
mother’s love. In return, I counted on her respecting me enough to be around for me in my
later years.
It’s not like her to be so starry-eyed and selfish. I have
threatened to disown her if she moves away. What can I do to change her mind? —
MISTREATED MOM – TORONTO, ON
Dear Mom,
Since
you’ve chosen to use fairytale analogies, I must tell you that the wart on your nose is
showing.
Like the wicked witch in so many fairytales, it seems you are
driven by selfish needs. By threatening your daughter as if she has done something wrong
— when all she’s done is fall in love — you are not demonstrating the motherly love of
which you speak so proudly.
As a daughter who can honestly say that my mom
is my best friend, I can understand your instinct to protect your daughter from pain and
heartache. However, you must let her live and experience life and love
firsthand.
Have you tried looking at this from a different angle? Instead
of losing a daughter, you could be gaining a son-in-law and an extended
family.
With all due respect, we don’t threaten the people we love. By
threatening to close your heart, you can only expect to find self-inflicted isolation and
despair.
Have a question, a thought, or a story to share
(anonymity guaranteed)? E-mail Christine at: single@keynotebooks.com
