Read Time:1 Minute, 31 Second
BEN HUR, TX The mood was
somber at Rico’s Southwestern Tavern last night, as five men came together to mourn the
lost youth of David Chambers, whose wife forced him to buy a
minivan.
“Look at that thing!” Chambers exclaimed, sorrowfully pointing to
the burgundy Dodge Caravan in the parking lot. His friends noticed the glimmer of a tear
in his eye. “Julie says it’s better for the kids, but what about me? It’s so
embarrassing to be seen in that thing!”
Chambers and his friends then
fondly reminisced about the good old days—back when they were in high school and college,
when they drove cars that looked cool and went really fast and required constant
attention.
“I remember when Julie decided that we needed a four-door. She
said we’d be able to get the baby seat in and out of the back seat easier.” Chambers put
his head in his hands and sobbed, “I should have known that it was the beginning of the
end.”
His friends all nodded sympathetically, expressing their
understanding of this difficult situation. And they, too, glanced mournfully out into
the parking lot, each shaking his head at his own Dodge Caravan.
“This is
it,” sniffed Chambers. “She’s stolen every last bit of manhood from me. Not only can I
no longer zip around town, speeding by arrogant teenagers and enjoying the admiring
glances of young women, but now I have to ride around town in a gigantic tank filled with
coloring books and crayons and juice boxes, listening to Sharon, Lois, and Bram songs
over and over on the tape player. It’s so emasculating,” he said as his voice faded
away.
And with that, the men ordered another round of caffeine-free diet
colas and toasted to the good old days.
Kristin Dreyer Kramer has been writing in some form or another (usually when she was supposed to be doing something else) since the ripe old age of ten—when she, her cousin, and their two Cabbage Patch Dolls formed the Poo Authors’ Club. After a short career in advertising, Kristin got sick of always saying nice things about stuff that didn’t deserve it—so now she spends her days criticizing things, and she’s much happier for it.
Since creating NightsAndWeekends.com in February of 2002, Kristin has spent her life surrounded by piles and piles of books and movies—so many that her office has become a kind of entertainment obstacle course.
As if her writing and editing responsibilities for N&W.com weren’t enough to keep her out of trouble, Kristin also hosts a number of weekly radio shows: Reel Discovery, Shelf Discovery, and On the Marquee. She’s also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (CriticsChoice.com), the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA.org), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS.org), and the Women Film Critics Circle (WFCC.Wordpress.com).
Kristin lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband, Paul, and their daughter, Anna. She welcomes questions, comments, and fan mail at kdk@nightsandweekends.com.
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Kristin Dreyer Kramer has been writing in some form or another (usually when she was supposed to be doing something else) since the ripe old age of ten—when she, her cousin, and their two Cabbage Patch Dolls formed the Poo Authors’ Club. After a short career in advertising, Kristin got sick of always saying nice things about stuff that didn’t deserve it—so now she spends her days criticizing things, and she’s much happier for it.
Since creating NightsAndWeekends.com in February of 2002, Kristin has spent her life surrounded by piles and piles of books and movies—so many that her office has become a kind of entertainment obstacle course.
As if her writing and editing responsibilities for N&W.com weren’t enough to keep her out of trouble, Kristin also hosts a number of weekly radio shows: Reel Discovery, Shelf Discovery, and On the Marquee. She’s also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (CriticsChoice.com), the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA.org), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS.org), and the Women Film Critics Circle (WFCC.Wordpress.com).
Kristin lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband, Paul, and their daughter, Anna. She welcomes questions, comments, and fan mail at kdk@nightsandweekends.com.