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Dear Christine,
I’m 20 and starting college in the
fall. I took two years off between high school and college to travel. Now I am back,
living in my parents’ house, preparing for the fall semester.
The problem
I have come home to is that all of my best friends are either living common law or
getting married soon — with me as a bridesmaid. I feel like I’ve been waiting forever to
meet someone special.
My best friends are great; it’s just hard because
they never want to hang out anymore, since they’re too busy with their boyfriends. It
hurts a lot because I am the kind of girl who always puts my friends first, no matter
what.
I guess I just feel as if I am in a rut and don’t know how to get
out. I try to focus on other things, but it does get lonely staying in with my parents
every night, even though my parents are great and fun. Do you have any advice? — AMIE –
LONDON, ON
Dear Amie,
If I had a spare nice guy
lying around, I’d hook you up. But for now, let’s focus on your primarily problem: your
girlfriends.
Keep your eyes open for opportunities to meet new people.
Your position as a bridesmaid will bring with it numerous gatherings and events, such as
planning sessions for showers, stag-and-doe parties, dress fittings, etc. Perhaps you can
form friendships with the other bridesmaids. And don’t forget to check out the groomsmen.
If these men are single, this is a great pool to dip into for future
dates.
It’s your duty to be an active part of wedding preparations. Who
will it hurt if you go one step farther and offer to help the guys pick out tuxes — or
plan a special night out for the wedding party to bond?
Not only will the
newlyweds have fonder memories when looking at their albums in years to come, but you
could also build new friendships.
Without diminishing the importance of
your studies, join clubs and attend social events at school to meet people with common
interests.
Kudos to you for appreciating the importance of friends. Your
wisdom exceeds your years. It may be little solace right now, but don’t give up on your
girlfriends. Be there for them now, and be patient. They will come back in
time.
Right now they are (what’s the expression?) fun-struck (or something
to that effect). Anyway, when the honeymoon phase mellows, they’ll be back for some
quality girl time. If they’re lucky, and you’re not too busy, you can be there to
rekindle your friendships.
A final thought: good for you for being one of
the lucky ones who truly enjoy her parents.
Dear
Christine,
I like this guy who has a girlfriend. I have to admit, I
didn’t even notice him until he started flirting with me. We live in the same
neighbourhood, and he flirts with me constantly — at church, in the mall, everywhere —
as long as his girlfriend is not around.
What should I do about him?
Should I let him know that I like him, or should I just sit back and wait for them to
break up? — TANYA – WINDSOR, ON
Dear Tanya,
How would you feel if you were his girlfriend, and he was flirting behind
your back? Don’t be naive or arrogant enough to think that if he dumps his
girlfriend to be with you, he wouldn’t do the same to you.
Flirting takes
two. So if you ignore him, he’ll stop and go elsewhere.
You didn’t even
notice him until he started flirting with you. Why the sudden interest? If you just want
something you can’t have or are intrigued by the challenge, just get yourself a pet
that’s hard to domesticate. But beware: African tree monkeys are not known for being any
more dedicated or monogamous than your ‘boy next door’.
Bottom line: Other
girls’ boyfriends are absolutely off limits.
Have a question, a
thought, or a story to share (anonymity guaranteed)? E-mail Christine at:
single@keynotebooks.com
