I love lipsticks — all kinds and all shades.
Everyone has obsessions. I suppose mine is lipsticks. I love wearing them, and I am
always buying new ones. Some women are obsessed with buying shoes or hats or handbags,
and I certainly don’t understand their reasons — if there needs to be a reason — but I
tried figuring out why I’m so attracted to lipsticks and my need to own so many.
Maybe we should blame it on my mom. After all, isn’t everything Mom’s
fault? Ha ha! Well, let me explain. When I was a little girl, I wanted to try on my mom’s
lipsticks, but she wouldn’t let me. She said that little girls don’t wear lipstick and
that it would make me look like a clown. She said that I could start wearing lipstick at
14. God, I couldn’t wait to be 14!
June 17, 1965 arrived. I was 14
and more than ready to put on my pale pink lipstick, the first of who knows how many
different colors and shades I’ve worn over the years. I felt so grown up and so very
feminine.
Maybe I just like having a variety of colors and shades in
my collection. I love having choices and owning 20 or 30 lipsticks gives me a choice to
make everyday. I can choose a color according to my outfit of the day, or my mood, or the
season or holiday. For example, a bright shade of red is perfect for Christmas, and how
could I possibly wear lilac lipstick with an orange top? Wouldn’t I need a peach,
tangerine, or possibly a cocoa? Yes, ladies, we all understand color coordination, don’t
we?
If I were to analyze my fascination with lipsticks, I might say
that as a disabled woman in a wheelchair, wearing new and pretty, color-coordinated
lipsticks is part of the poor body image I have always had. Not only do I feel feminine,
but I’m also showing everyone that I am a woman, like any other, who likes to look
attractive; and wearing makeup, especially lipstick, may take away the focus of my lower
body to my face.
Also, feeling as if I don’t have lots of control
over my physical circumstance, it’s nice to know that I have the control over my choices
of lipsticks. No, I can’t make my spine look straighter, but I can make my face look
prettier, at least a little.
Maybe I shouldn’t probe too deeply into
the reason or reasons for this obsession, if it is one. I only know that you can always
find me studying the array of lipsticks in the cosmetic section in a department store and
looking for the latest lip shades in every Avon brochure.
Maybe I
just love lipstick and there’s no need to analyze this situation, for we’re not talking
about an addiction that’s making me ill or hurting anyone, or ruining my life. Right? Oh,
let’s just blame it on Mom!