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Statistics prove the most common birthday in North America is October 5th. Why am I pointing this out? Well, the reason that particular date sees more babies brought into the world is all about math.
Fact: The human gestation period—the period of time between conception and labour—is approximately forty weeks (280 days), measured from the first day of the mother’s last menstrual cycle.
So let’s count backward. Hmmm…
And to think that people say the most important thing about New Year’s Eve is having someone to kiss at midnight. Given the statistics, I beg to differ. It seems at midnight, not only is the ball dropping in Time Square, but laundry all over North America is dropping as well.
What is it about New Year’s Eve that brings out our amorous side? The Noisemakers? The streamers? The Champagne? The lyrics of “Should auld acquaintance be forgot…”?
Does Dick Clark exude a strange form of Spanish Fly which is transportable through the television set?
Will the 31st be filled with romance for you?
How will you prepare for your New Year’s evening plans? Will you be primping for a hot date? Asking your friends which shoes go with which belt? Racing to the drug store to stock up on condoms? Cuddling up in your flannel jammies for a night at home with the family? Packing a bag of junk food to take with you for your evening of babysitting for your friends who actually have a life?
How will you spend the evening? Dancing until you drop? Pounding back drinks until that stranger at the corner table looks good? Relentlessly making out on the dance floor with, um, um…oh heck, what’s in a name after all? Hovering over the microwave guarding your popcorn from burning? Shooting dirty looks at the person who’s out with your ex?
When the clock strikes midnight, what will you be doing? Tinging Champagne glasses while toasting in the New Year? Embracing a friend? Kissing the love of your life or an attractive stranger? In the bathroom of some sleazy bar with your head bowed as you pay homage to the porcelain idol? In the parking lot, duking it out with your ex’s new squeeze?
What will the morning after bring for you? You and your lover staying in bed until noon, then getting up and making breakfast together? Eating a bologna sandwich while waiting for someone to come and bail you out of jail? Explaining to your friend of six years how last night was just one of those things—and the two of you should just pretend it never happened? Rotating an icepack back and forth from your throbbing head to your scraped knees? Trying to sneak off without waking Pat? Or was it Bev? Groping your pocket, wondering why you still have two condoms left, when you’re sure you should only have one.
I’m curious, what will be the most memorable thing for you as you take down your calendar and replace it with the new one?
Are you planning on ringing in the New Year with a bang? If so, should I be shopping for a gift for your October baby shower?
Have a question, a thought, or a story to share (anonymity guaranteed)? Email Christine at: single@keynotebooks.com.
