The Introvert Advantage provides strategies for introverts to thrive in a world where three-quarters of the population are extroverts. The book isn’t about changing who an introvert is. Introverts are not shy, and they can’t change themselves into extroverts by trying to be outgoing, but this book does give strategies on how to cope and communicate.
The author, an introvert herself, explains that introverts and extroverts have different physiological make-ups, which is why one cannot change into the other. She provides strategies for introverts in personal relationships—including innie male with outie female, innie female with outie male, or the pairing that would seem to be the perfect combination but needs as much help as the rest of us, innie male with innie female. The author provides real-life examples of people she’s counseled over the years and what strategies they’ve used to overcome any problems that related to their introvert/extrovert personalities. She also gives suggestions on how parents can deal with children that are introverts.
The only thing I found lacking in this book was suggestions on how an introvert parent can deal with an extrovert child. It’s just not possible to explain to a five-year-old that mommy needs some quiet time—although relying on friends and family when you’re burnt out is a good suggestion.
The author also discusses how introverts can deal with work and social gatherings (which would have been very helpful for me in my twenties). Finding the right job and keeping a balance between social engagements and alone time are just two of the suggestions. I found some of the suggestions extremely helpful, such as sitting as opposed to standing in a group, giving yourself permission to go and hide in the bathroom for a few minutes, or telling yourself it’s okay to play with the family dog. I felt so much better about myself when I read that standing in the middle of a social or work gathering makes introverts feel like they’re on display. They enjoy taking in the world from a seated position. So I found that it’s not just me, and it’s not because I’m shy.
Finally, the author provides the reader with strategies on how an introvert can shine their light on the world. Let’s face it. Introverts need to get out of the shadows of extroverts once in a while in order to get the promotion at work or ask someone out on a date, even though the shadows may be where they’re the most comfortable.
My only regret with this book is that I didn’t discover it sooner. Anyone who’s an introvert or who loves an introvert should pick up this book.