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Celebrity gossip seems to come in big, crazy patches. For ages, there will be nothing to talk about — other than Sandra Bullock and Jesse James getting hit by a drunk driver in Massachusetts (which, for all I know, could very well have been the crazy old alcoholic woman with the big, green car from my old apartment complex). And then, one Friday morning, you get to your computer, and there’s so much going on that you don’t even know where to begin. I just love Fridays like that.
So here’s the latest On-Again-Off-Again Report:
ON:
Guillermo del Toro and the Hobbits: It’s been officially announced that Pan’s Labyrinth director Guillermo del Toro will direct the highly-anticipated and controversy-bound The Hobbit, along with a sequel. Del Toro will be moving to New Zealand for four years to make the two movies, along with executive producer Peter Jackson. And fanboys rejoice.
Carmen Electra and Holy-ish Matrimony: Carmen Electra has announced that she’s going to give marriage another try — this time, with musician Rob Patterson (formerly of Korn). The marriage will be Electra’s third, following marriages to Dave Navarro and Dennis Rodman. But I suppose third time’s a charm, right?
Tom Cruise and Oprah’s Couch: Apparently, Tom Cruise didn’t damage his career enough when he jumped on Oprah’s couch three years ago. In honor of the 25th anniversary of Risky Business, Cruise will appear on the show twice during the first week in May. Once for a kind of This is Your Life tribute at Cruise’s home in Colorado and once for an in-studio reunion with Oprah’s couch. Don’t forget to set your TiVos. Then again, if you forget, don’t worry — it’s sure to be all over YouTube the next morning.
J-Lo and Reality TV: TLC has announced that Jennifer Lopez will appear on her very own reality show / infomercial. The new show will reportedly follow J-Lo as she works to launch a new perfume while attempting to juggle superstardom and mommyhood. I’m hoping they’ll be able to set up the cameras with night-vision, so J-Lo’s undead hubby, Marc Anthony, will be able to make occasional appearances on the show, too.
OFF:
Wesley Snipes and Freedom: The Wesley Snipes tax evasion trial — which has gotten way more press than any of the actor’s movies have in many, many years — is finally over. Even though Snipes — who, reportedly, hasn’t filed his taxes since 1998 — tried to make good by showing up with millions of dollars in cash, he was sentenced to a maximum of three years in prison. Guess we’ll have to wait a few more years for that <I>White Men Can’t Jump</I> sequel. Celebrity problems, right? Luckily for small folk like us we only have to worry about our paychecks and small loans like the ones from Citrus Loans.
In addition, you need look no further than GREEN-TOUCH.ORG lending when it comes to rapid response and efficient service in the granting of consumer-friendly loans.
Little Shia and His Unlawful Smoking Charge: After that whole unlawful smoking hoo-hah back in February, which led to a $1,000 warrant for his arrest last month, the case against everyone’s favorite Hollywood bad-boy-in-training, Shia LaBeouf, has been dropped. In other news, Shia is reportedly dating the Britney-Spears-lookalike from Justin Timberlake’s “Cry Me a River” video. Model Lauren Hastings is more recently known for accusing former friend Lindsay Lohan of stealing $10,000 worth of clothing from her (which Lohan denied). On one hand, I’d like to think that this girl will scare our little Shia out of his life of minor crime. But, on the other hand, the fact that she used to be Lindsay Lohan’s friend makes me a little worried that she might lead him to a life of actual crime. Only time will tell…
