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As I sat through Hot Rod, I quietly cursed Jon Heder. You see, if Heder’s brainless slacker comedy, Napoleon Dynamite, hadn’t made a ton of money, I wouldn’t have to spend my summer Thursday nights in a cold, dark theater, watching some guy with bad hair and no fashion sense do stupid stuff on screen for an hour and a half. But it did. So I do.
The most amazing part of it all, however, is the fact that I still go in every time with an open mind—thinking, It might actually be funny this time. After all, I love stupid comedies. But, as it turns out, all of these Napoleon Dynamite copycats aren’t just stupid comedies. They’re lobotomy comedies.
Take Hot Rod for example. It tells the triumphant story of Rod Kimble (SNL’s Andy Samberg), the son of a late, great stunt man. Rod is determined to follow in his father’s footsteps as a stunt man. He’s going to be tough and courageous. He’s going to grow a moustache. But he can’t seem to beat his stepdad, Frank (Ian McShane), in a fight, no matter how hard (or how often) he tries. Someday, though, he’ll beat Frank. And on that day, Rod will know he’s a man.
One afternoon, however, after unsuccessfully attempting to jump his moped over the community pool, Rod returns home to find out that Frank is dying. Despite the fact that he’s been soundly beating the crap out of Rod on a daily basis, Frank has a serious heart condition. And unless he gets a $50,000 heart surgery (which their insurance won’t cover), it’s the end of the show for Frank. But Rod won’t let that happen—because if Frank dies, Rod will never be able to beat the crap out of him. So, with the help of his faithful crew of losers (along with gorgeous girl-next-door Denise, played by Isla Fisher), Rod begins training to jump his moped over 15 buses—which, he figures, will earn enough money for Frank’s surgery.
To get a better idea of what Hot Rod is all about, think about one of the clips on America’s Funniest Home Videos, in which some guy rides his bike into a parked car. Then think about watching that clip for an hour and a half.
Okay, so maybe that’s not quite it. It’s not just Samberg riding his bike into a parked car. He also rides his bike into the aforementioned pool. He blows up once. And, another time, he falls down a hill for about 10 minutes. There’s also a punch-dancing scene and about five minutes of Samberg and Jorma Taccone saying “cool beans.” And that’s about it.
I’ll admit that there are some funny moments in Hot Rod. For the first half hour or so, it’s even mildly amusing. But after a half hour of the same thing, over and over and over again, Hot Rod just seems like one more in a long, painful succession of idiot comedies. I fear that watching this movie could possibly make you stupider—and, for that reason, I highly recommend against seeing it. But if, for some reason, you must, be sure to do lots of brain exercises after it’s over—just in case. I suggest picking up a Sudoku book on your way home from the theater.
