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Based on a pair of short stories from Melissa Bank’s The Girls’ Guide to Hunting and Fishing, Suburban Girl tells the bland and totally uncomfortable story of a young associate editor trying to climb her way up the literary ladder.
Sarah Michelle Gellar stars as Brett Eisenberg, the literary hopeful who will do anything to get promoted to full editor at her publishing company. One night, in an attempt to rub shoulders with the New York literati, she meets literary playboy and publishing house editor-in-chief Archie Knox (Alec Baldwin). Brett finds herself oddly drawn to the [much] older man (who, incidentally, used to hang out with Brett’s great-aunt), and she eventually gives in to her attraction, dumping her deadbeat boyfriend and running off to Archie’s luxurious townhouse to begin their happily-ever-after together.
But as Brett enjoys her weekends with Archie in the Berkshires and her swanky cocktail parties, she finds herself second-guessing her career and facing her issues with her family.
Though it’s only based on two short stories, Suburban Girl still feels like a choppy collection of short vignettes that don’t really seem to have much of a point. Brett’s run-in with Archie and subsequent night on the town, her occasional encounters with her tyrannical boss, her drunken tirade at a party…. All of these things could have made for some great chick flick moments. Unfortunately, though, they end up feeling like random snippets strung together. And while it feels like there’s something light and humorous hidden beneath the surface, that humor never really comes through—and, instead, it ends up feeling rather heavy.
The film’s greatest problem, however, is with Brett and Archie. Right from the beginning, their relationship just seems wrong. And uncomfortable. And just a little bit icky. Sure, the characters’ 25-year age difference could have something to do with it—and when Brett shows up to visit Archie in the hospital and loudly tells a nurse, “He’s not my father. He’s my boyfriend. We have sex together!” you’ll most likely feel the slightest shiver of revulsion. But it’s more than just the age difference. It’s also because the relationship isn’t developed well—and it’s hard to see why the two characters end up together in the first place. It also doesn’t help that Gellar and Baldwin have absolutely no chemistry. Though they’re both talented performers in their own way, when they’re together…nothin’. And by the time Brett starts to realize something might be wrong with their relationship, you’ll wonder what took her so long.
So don’t make the same mistake—and just end this uncomfortable relationship before it even begins. Really, it’s for the best.
