Read Time:1 Minute, 25 Second
FLINT, MI Flint area police are currently devoting all of their manpower to the search for Howard Griffith, harmless janitor turned hardened criminal. Griffith has been running wild for the last two weeks, and the authorities just can’t seem to trap him.
Griffith’s murderous streak began several years ago, when his sister, Gwen, was thrown into hysterics by a renegade spider that had made its way onto her bathroom wall. Griffith, being the fearless hero that he is, came running to her assistance to squish the intruder.
At that point, something inside Griffith must have snapped. And, from that point on, he’s wanted nothing more than to squish bugs. Sick of waiting for the helpless creatures to invade his home, Griffith soon started to search for victims. Now he stalks his prey—around ant hills. Behind refrigerators. Under rotting logs. Griffith has been identified as the world’s first serial exterminator, and he is allegedly the cause of a number of brutal bug deaths in the Flint area and perhaps throughout the Midwest.
Be warned that Griffith may be anywhere—especially in heavily-wooded areas. He is completely unarmed, though highly dangerous—especially if you happen to be either six-legged or a member of the arachnid family. And, according to witnesses, Griffith is reportedly “just plain creepy.” So if you see him, just stay away from him and call the authorities immediately.
And be sure not to get in his way when he’s ready to make a kill. Just remember: this guy is missing a few nuts and bolts. If at all possible, just leave him alone. He has struck numerous times before, and he’s determined to strike again.
Kristin Dreyer Kramer has been writing in some form or another (usually when she was supposed to be doing something else) since the ripe old age of ten—when she, her cousin, and their two Cabbage Patch Dolls formed the Poo Authors’ Club. After a short career in advertising, Kristin got sick of always saying nice things about stuff that didn’t deserve it—so now she spends her days criticizing things, and she’s much happier for it.
Since creating NightsAndWeekends.com in February of 2002, Kristin has spent her life surrounded by piles and piles of books and movies—so many that her office has become a kind of entertainment obstacle course.
As if her writing and editing responsibilities for N&W.com weren’t enough to keep her out of trouble, Kristin also hosts a number of weekly radio shows: Reel Discovery, Shelf Discovery, and On the Marquee. She’s also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (CriticsChoice.com), the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA.org), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS.org), and the Women Film Critics Circle (WFCC.Wordpress.com).
Kristin lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband, Paul, and their daughter, Anna. She welcomes questions, comments, and fan mail at kdk@nightsandweekends.com.
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Kristin Dreyer Kramer has been writing in some form or another (usually when she was supposed to be doing something else) since the ripe old age of ten—when she, her cousin, and their two Cabbage Patch Dolls formed the Poo Authors’ Club. After a short career in advertising, Kristin got sick of always saying nice things about stuff that didn’t deserve it—so now she spends her days criticizing things, and she’s much happier for it.
Since creating NightsAndWeekends.com in February of 2002, Kristin has spent her life surrounded by piles and piles of books and movies—so many that her office has become a kind of entertainment obstacle course.
As if her writing and editing responsibilities for N&W.com weren’t enough to keep her out of trouble, Kristin also hosts a number of weekly radio shows: Reel Discovery, Shelf Discovery, and On the Marquee. She’s also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (CriticsChoice.com), the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA.org), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS.org), and the Women Film Critics Circle (WFCC.Wordpress.com).
Kristin lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband, Paul, and their daughter, Anna. She welcomes questions, comments, and fan mail at kdk@nightsandweekends.com.
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