
Present day. Rick Blaine is President of the United States, and Iran has declared war on America. At the White House, a.k.a. Casablanca (“casa” meaning “house,” and “blanca” meaning “white”), Rick meets with his cabinet to discuss the situation.
CAST:
Rick Blaine (President)
Ilsa (First Lady)
Victor Laszlo (Secretary of State)
Louis Renault (Secretary of Defense)
(The President is seated at a table with his cabinet)
RICK: Louie, you’ve got something on your mind. Why don’t you spill it?
RENAULT: As you know, Mr. President, Iran has declared war on the United States. Isolationism is no longer a practical policy.
RICK: I stick my neck out for nobody.
LASZLO: We know what you did in Baghdad, and we know why you left Baghdad.
RICK: That’s all water under the bridge. Let’s deal with the problem at hand. The Taliban and Al Qaeda have established terrorist training camps in Iran.
LASZLO: But it’ll take a miracle to get our troops out of Iraq.
RENAULT: And the Taliban has outlawed miracles.
RICK: Louie, when it comes to terrorism, you’re a true democrat. I’m sure you’ll come up with something.
RENAULT: Don’t be so sure. You’re the only one in Casa…uh…the White House with less scruples than I.
RICK: I’ve told you before—I’m no good at being noble.
LASZLO: With all due respect, they say you’re just another blundering American president.
RICK: I wouldn’t underestimate blundering American presidents. I was there when we blundered into Kuwait in 1991.
RENAULT: Yes. I remember. The Republican Guard wore green. You wore khaki.
LASZLO: Nevertheless, if we stop fighting our enemies, the world will die.
RICK: What of it? It’ll be out of its misery.
LASZLO: And let’s not forget the cost of the War on Terror. Billions of dollars.
RICK: They put it on my bill. I tear up the bill. It’s very convenient.
LASZLO: Mr. President, isn’t it strange that you always happen to be fighting on the side of the underdog?
RICK: I’m not fighting for anything anymore except myself. I’m the only cause I’m interested in.
RENAULT: You have a press conference in the morning. What are you going to tell the American people about our response to Iran’s aggression?
RICK: I never make plans that far ahead.
LASZLO: We don’t know what’s right anymore. You have to think for all of us.
RENAULT: If you don’t bomb Iran, you’ll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But soon, and for the rest of your life.
(ILSA enters)
ILSA: Hello, Rick.
RICK: Of all the cabinet meetings in all the administrations in all the republics in all the world, she walks into mine.
ILSA: I wish I didn’t love you so much, but I had to tell you “goodbye” before my plane leaves for New York. I have Christmas shopping to do. I’ll be back in a few days.
RICK: I’ll be counting the minutes, darling. If it’s November 2008 in Washington, what time is it in New York?
ILSA: I don’t know. My watch stopped.
RICK: You’d better hurry. You’ll miss that plane. Here’s lookin’ at you, kid.
(RICK kisses ILSA. She exits.)
LASZLO: I warn you, Mr. President. The Taliban mean to stop you at all costs. It might be a good idea for you to disappear from Casa…uh…the White House for a while. For your own safety.
RENAULT: But what about Iran?
RICK: It doesn’t take much to see that the problems of America don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. I’ve got a job to do. Where I’m going, you can’t follow. What I’ve got to do, you can’t be any part of.
RENAULT: So the fundamental things apply.
LASZLO: As time goes by.
RICK: We’ll always have Baghdad.