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Two years ago, I wasn’t especially kind to Michael Bay’s .php>Transformers—and I definitely wasn’t the only one. But, despite Bay’s recent complaints about his critics, he seems to have taken at least some of that criticism to heart—because Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is an improvement.
Granted, the story still doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. And, once again, most of the complex, alien-history parts are explained all at once—this time, by an ancient alien robot (with a robot beard and a robot cane) who’s almost completely unintelligible. The gist of it, however, is that, over the last couple of years, humans and Autobots have formed a secret alliance. Even after the near destruction of the All Spark, though, the Decepticons just won’t go away.
Meanwhile, Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) is packing his bags and heading to college—even though it means leaving his girlfriend, Mikaela (Megan Fox), back in California. Sam just wants to be a normal college kid. He wants to hang out with his roommate, Leo (Ramon Rodriguez), and go to frat parties instead of worrying about alien robot invasions. Once he settles in, though, he starts having strange visions of symbols that he’s never seen before. And, just like that, his days as a normal college kid are over.
…Or at least it’s something like that. Despite the fact that I was taking notes, I’m still a bit fuzzy on the details.
But, while the story’s still pretty confusing, it’s actually a whole lot simpler than it was before. The teen romance moves to the background, and the drama involving Lennox (Josh Duhamel) and his family is gone. And, sure, Sam’s parents are still wacky and irritating (and totally unnecessary)—and the Autobots are still pretty klutzy—but, this time, at least Bay commits to being corny. This isn’t a serious action movie with unexpected bursts of silliness; it’s an over-the-top action movie that’s completely and unapologetically silly. And I can accept that. It’s sophomoric and ridiculous, but at least it’s consistently ridiculous. In fact, while some of the silliness is a bit…much (like the gangsta-wannabe twins…and the little robot that humps Megan Fox’s leg for no apparent reason…and the robot genitalia), some of the silliness is actually entertaining—especially when John Turturro is involved.
I could probably go on all day about what works and what doesn’t, but none of that really matters—because, let’s face it, the Transformers movies (and, actually, Michael Bay movies in general) aren’t really about the story. They’re about the effects and the explosions. And, fortunately, Bay gets that part right this time around. There are more explosions, more battles, and more robot-to-robot combat. It’s bigger, it’s louder, and the action is nearly non-stop—for two and a half hours. And, as for the effects…well, they just don’t get much better than this.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen isn’t a brilliant film. It’s silly and gimmicky and completely over-the-top. It’s also about an hour too long. But no one expects Michael Bay movies to be smart or subtle, right? You expect action and effects and massive explosions that might knock the jumbo tub of popcorn right out of your butter-coated hands. And that’s exactly what you’ll get.
You might want to check with your doctor before buying your ticket—just to make sure that you’re healthy enough to sit through it. Then just sit back, set your brain to “hibernate,” and enjoy the wild-and-crazy ride.
